


Young Wizards “Drinking Game”

by theunwillingheart



Category: Young Wizards - Diane Duane
Genre: Gen, Humor, Meta, drinking game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-16 03:48:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11245683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theunwillingheart/pseuds/theunwillingheart
Summary: Just for fun.(I really like these books.)Potential spoilers for whole series?  Nothing specific, though.  Rated “Teen” for mentions of alcohol use.





	Young Wizards “Drinking Game”

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe not meant as an actual drinking game so much as a humor piece framed within the drinking game format. This is not attempting to promote inappropriate or excessive alcohol use in any way. Case in point, the author is not an alcohol drinker. So! If it is illegal for you to drink alcohol, please don’t drink alcohol! If it is legal for you to drink alcohol, please drink responsibly, and don’t drink and drive!
> 
> Also, please keep in mind that all humor is meant as fondly as possible. I’ve pointed out some recurring story elements here, but they are all story elements I like a lot and enjoy reading. If it’s not already clear from the embarrassment of fanfic I’ve written for YW, I’ve really enjoyed reading these books. Consider this an enthusiastic celebration of a mythos that has won my heart over.
> 
> Disclaimer: Diane Duane, who writes Young Wizards, does not endorse this “drinking game”. Thanks for a crazy year, Ms. Duane.

Every time Nita gets bullied for being a nerd, take a shot.

Every time Kit gets bullied for being Hispanic or short, take a shot.

NO ONE BULLIES DAIRINE.  Take a shot.

Anyone feel like teaching those bullies to fear their local wizards?  What, wizards are supposed to be above that?  Fine.  Take a shot.

Every time either of the Callahan sisters gets herself into a situation she can’t handle, and someone has to track her down and rescue her, take a shot.

Every time Kit gets inexorably drawn into some bizarre mental phenomenon which traps him in a situation he can’t handle, and someone has to track him down and rescue him, take a shot.

…And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is why wizards should never go on vacation.  Take a shot.

Speech tenses make my head spin.  Take a shot.

Kernel shenanigans, take a shot.

Making fun of the Lone Power, take a shot.

Doggie blackmail, take a shot.

Bunny-hopping in low gravity, take a shot.

Methane snow, take a shot.

Hey guys, anyone notice that Ponch is acting strange?  I mean, _stranger_ than _usual_?  Take a shot.

Cute sidekick characters spouting prophecies all over the place!  Take a shot.

Cool catchphrases!

                “I am on errantry, and I greet you.”  Take a shot.

                “There are no accidents.”  Take a shot.

                “All is done for each.”  Take a shot.

                “Magic does not live in the unwilling heart.”  (Pseud drop.)  Take a shot.

                And of course, who could forget,

                “Fairest and Fallen, greeting and defiance!”  Take a shot.

Every time someone appears/ disappears with a _bang!_ of air displacement, take a shot.

Every time the universe quiets down to listen to a spell, take a shot.

Crap, a manual message didn’t go through!  _It just got real._   Take a shot.

Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door.  Who could it be?  Surprise!  It’s Tom Swale, your local Advisory!  Take a shot.

And you’re SUPER GROUNDED!  Take a shot.

Look, Carl’s being a ~~scourge to all household utilities~~ handyman!  Take a shot.

Every time we get a friendly reminder that Senior wizards are terrifying behind their warm smiles, take a shot.

Every time we get a friendly reminder that wizards don’t tend to live long!  Hahahamylifeispain take a shot.

WE DON’T TALK ABOUT ABDALS AROUND DARRYL, M’KAY?  Take a shot.

Dude, Carmela doesn’t even _need_ to be a wizard.  Take a shot.

Every time someone goes to the far side of the Moon, take a shot.

Every time someone shoots up the Crossings, take a shot.

Every time Timeheart comes up, take a—actually, you know what?  Just go ahead and drink the whole bottle.  You’re going to need it.


End file.
